You know, I knew at the beginning of that post that Scott was just dangling this Healing Stone of Moradin in front of me, but that I wouldn't end up with it. Scott, you're such a rockteaser. :)

(Please don't punish Barik for my bad puns, everyone -- it's not his fault.)

I try to get everyone together and get them and the horses out of here (that is, with the sergeant). I assume I'll find Dru is still missing, and I'll start searching for her at the Inn, and ask if anyone's seen her, starting with the innkeeper. (Unless I fortuitously run into Dagnal or someone along the way.) When I corral her, I drag her out and get us the heck on the road. Since Dagnal's given her some stuff, this might not be too bad; I start with "Good elfmaid, I regret that we must go now; the others have prepared your horse." But if she's her usual post-binge self, and is more resistant than just tongue-lashing me, I don't take no for an answer, and "drag her out" can be taken literally if necessary.

What supplies were we able to get from the supply room, from my wish list? I didn't mean to ransack the place: I don't take more than about a fifth or a quarter of any one item (if they have five belt pouches, I take one; if they have 12 sacks, I take 2 or 3; for more valuable items, I'm more stingy). Of course, I bring this up as inventory checking that I'm not going to do until at least Monday; I'm going to assume we got some stuff, and that we can distribute it among the party so that no one's weighed down.

And now I'm _really_ going. See y'all Sunday night.
posted by Scholeologist at 2/06/2004 08:45:00 AM

"I couldn't agree more, High Priest. I will gather the visitors up and I pray that Moradin and Marthammor Duin will guide our steps away from Argunn Lode without any more trouble. And, I hope, one mishap to avoid would be to leave a sacred trust behind...if I recall, you were speaking of an artifact of Moradin?"

Assuming Alonzo's "exit, stage left" is metaphorical rather than literal...

"Alonzo, you went to see about some protective raiment for your steed, did you not? If it is not ready yet, we may have to leave it behind -- after speaking with the High Priest, I will round up the others, and I think we should leave forthwith. In any case, if you would help me, please look to the mounts: armor or not, I'm sure Emerelda would be glad to see you again. Of course, you may also have your own preparations for dangerous travel, in the Crimson Peak tradition -- I urge you to do what you think appropriate, for we have no time to waste."

OOC: Did Barik have a chance to meditate before breakfast, or is he still spell-less? Also, I'm going away for the weekend, so I'll probably be out of contact until Sunday.
posted by Scholeologist at 2/06/2004 05:49:00 AM

"I had no idea this weapon hid such a foul substance inside it. First, I am grateful that through Moradin's grace and the healing hands of High Priest Kendrick, Brakmar is still happily healthy.

"As you probably know, I was there when the human caravan that was on its way here was ambushed. Although there were hundreds of guardsmen, the orcs are now united under a leader who attacked them with lightning, trapping them with invisible walls and walls of fire that appeared from nowhere, assaulted the merchants and their families with foul bat-winged monsters. This leader could fly, faster than a hawk; he was struck by sword and arrows, and nothing harmed him. He vanished into thin air, and only then were the visitors you have seen here able to repel the orcs. The charred battleground stands as testament to the massacre.

"The few military men who survived led the caravaners, as best they could, away from danger and back to Twin Towers. These visitors requested to address the Council and beseech passage through our lands to pursue the orc wizard, because he has kidnapped Bishop's sister and child brother. I brought them here not as a matter of friendship, but as a matter of duty.

"The weapons that we traded with Ironsides, as he of course recognized immediately, were the spoils of that battle. I thought that these bolts could be put to better use here than letting the orcs recover them. I imagined that they might be returned to their original owners at great speed -- from a crossbow.

"Perhaps that may still be true, but this weapon here hid a dangerous reminder of the foul tactics of the enemy, and I regret delivering it into Brakmar's innocent hands. Had I known, I would have striven to make the weapon safe to handle before it was traded.

"The visitors have had their audience with the Council, and are ready to leave this very day. I am sure I am not alone in thinking that the sooner they are on their way, the better. Perhaps, in these dark times, some of you might see them as bad omens, or harbingers of misfortune, or perhaps just as unwelcome. But it makes me proud to be a Lingramangallen to know that we did not forget our history, and that wherever they go in the world outside, they will say "Truly, we may not have been the best of guests, but even in the hardest and most dangerous of times, the Dwarves of Argunn Lode were the best of hosts."

(Lingramangallen is what dwarves from Argunn Lode call themselves. "Argunn Loder" sounds funny.)
posted by Scholeologist at 2/05/2004 06:08:00 AM

Please be patient with me -- I've got a good response for Barik to say, but it's too late here for me to be up on a "school night", and I doubt I'm as coherent now as I will be tomorrow morning. So I'll post tomorrow, before the DM's typical 6:30 am post. Thanks.
posted by Scholeologist at 2/04/2004 08:13:00 PM

Oh, nice. Now Alonzo's trying to stir up the crowd.

And what kind of a rogue _doesn't_ look in secret compartments? :)

Um, before Barik answers (and Barik's tempted to think that dwarves who play with clearly labeled poison bottles with open wounds deserve what they get,) how common is poison in general? I imagine dwarves don't use it, but they fight orcs who seem to love the stuff. Is this apprentice dim, or is poison a weird foreign substance? And if the latter, does Barik know any more about its proper care and handling than the apprentice? How much more?

Barik's also horrified of course, that this random dude almost bit it through a freak accident. (He's more horrified if there's no good reason that the apprentice should have known better.)

You know, I was looking back in the blog (to find out about those official papers Kray gave Linnam), and I saw that Linnam apparently gave Barik a lot of personal information -- that he worked for somebody who worked for the Duke -- that I had completely missed or forgotten all this time. I mighta played Barik a little differently if I had been a little more cognizant -- not too much, but a little. Poor Barik's memory gets a little hazy sometimes, through no fault of his own. :)
posted by Scholeologist at 2/04/2004 12:44:00 PM

hmmm... so I'm thinking when the braniacs of this group did the weapons trade, that they never mentioned...
Intelligence-wise, Dru's the brainiac of the group, so what do you expect when you leave the dummies to do the trading? :)

Also, I warned Linnam about the poisoned hand crossbow a while ago, and he said he thought the poison darts were both used. Either he's wrong, or the poison is from one of the bolts Barik carted around and sold. Or it has nothing to do with us, but that seems the least likely possibility.

And these are the thoughts (along with some other ones, which are probably better filtered out) that race through Barik's mind as he runs with Kendrick. (If I can outpace him, I will. On second thought, if I can outpace the old fella, I can probably run faster carrying him than he can run on his own, and I suggest that, while running.)
posted by Scholeologist at 2/04/2004 06:39:00 AM

Here's some links to pictures of dwarves, for a little Argunn Lode flavor before we head out:

Kinvol (Artist: George Vrbanic)
Holdek (Artist: Roger Raupp)
Old Ironsides (Artist: George Vrbanic)
Harin, the gemcutter (Artist: George Vrbanic)
Banta, the bartender (Artist: George Vrbanic)
Sarlin, the leatherer at the Awl and Threadneedle (Artist: George Vrbanic)
Kendrick (Artist: George Vrbanic)
Riktaern, more solemn than when we saw him (Artist: Kennon James)
posted by Scholeologist at 2/03/2004 09:42:00 AM

[Barik's TB] Oof. Alonzo too? Muamman Duathal, _please_ let me get this herd of cats out of here...with our skins intact, if possible!

[Bob's TB] Add Alonzo to the list of people who've offended dwarves. :) Which leaves...me, I guess, at least, until I answer this question. ;)

"My High Priest, I did not know of this ploy of Alonzo's, but otherwise, I cannot deny, the other...characters in this strange crowd have been quick-tempered, boorish, and disrespectful to their peers and superiors. I myself am not the most politic of dwarves, but I wish that I had been more effective at teaching them some manners ere I brought them to Argunn Lode. Though I would not call them my friends, as yet, I admit to having some...sympathy for them, or some of them, at least.

"Take Grell, who despite his personal troubles has behaved with great gentility, even though he has been so looked down on for his sad parentage that he assumes every dwarf he meets loathes him, I think. Or Drusilla -- she is more defensive and spiteful than Grell, but has been a model of restraint while she has been here. I don't know her history, but I imagine she has suffered ostracism as badly or worse than Grell, to have such wrath.

"That these two have risen above their natures impresses me, and I hope that I can encourage similar improvement in the group as a whole. For whether I like it or not, my fate is tied up in this quest along with theirs, and apart from any more virtuous reason, I would like them to have better manners for my own sanity."
posted by Scholeologist at 2/03/2004 08:02:00 AM

...a minute or two later so does Linnam followed by Barik.
Hey! I wanted to drink more! Not as much as Drusilla though, and everyone else kinda went to bed, so it wouldn't change the story much. Anyhow, Barik drinks more, and gets in a visibly better mood, but leaves Drusilla to her flirting and Alonzo to his. Barik chats with some old friends from the neighborhood, then heads home.
posted by Scholeologist at 2/03/2004 05:00:00 AM

Um, I feel compelled to point out again that Barik isn't necessarily being particularly rational. Barik's description of dwarven social custom (which I just made up, and which I further imagine to be issues of culture, not law) is something he would know about (assuming he's not lying just to scare Linnam straight), but principles of the law of nations/jus gentium aren't -- no ranks in Diplomacy, for instance. Linnam's false identity sticks in his craw, obviously, and wouldn't sit well with Kinvol or the other Council members, but its effect on legal documents is up to the DM.

Leaving the question of whether or not I could contribute more to a reasoned discussion of what "law of nations" might exist in the D&D world than Barik aside, I will make this observation: the development of culture in D&D is very superficial, in part because the structures of the game segregate and simplify the society. It's not Scott that makes everything that dwarves say come out in hammers and anvils: that's their whole racial background. The economy and culture of an entire race of blacksmiths who live underground collapse under scrutiny. We try to dress it up with fungus farms and silkworms to make it look like there's more dimension to it, but you can only go so far before you turn them back into short humans. Alignment is a similar simplification -- would chaotic good elves recognize any "law of nations"?

Have fun with your legal scheming, and let me know how it goes -- but try to weigh the costs vs. benefits. It was worth it to me to look at a few websites and drop in a comment about a mulberry grove. Working out how the dwarves feed themselves, where they put all the rock, and working out where they manage to make the rope (trivia: until modern machinery innovations, a rope could only be as long as the field or shed it was made in. I guess they had to wind the whole thing under tension, or something.) was not.
posted by Scholeologist at 2/02/2004 03:53:00 PM

Indeed, 'Thank you' must be in my vocabulary.

"I haven't seen much evidence of that as yet; I don't see why it would change now."

[Barik's TB] Insolent bureaucrat. Always twisting words around, like a corrupt lawyer.

At some point during Linnam's speech, wherever you like, Barik bonks Linnam on top of his head. (After a brief experiment with my wife, we determined that Barik can reach without getting on top of something, just barely.)

"When I said `don't say anything to another dwarf', I meant me too."

"You forget a great deal. For example, minutes ago, when I pointed out that when a thought comes into your head, you might want to think if it does any good to voice it before it falls out of your mouth. And if your legalistic claptrap was meant to sway me, I can assure you, you'd've been wiser to keep silent.

"You forget that I know that whatever you managed to wheedle Kray into signing, these papers are a sham -- there is no `Linnam son of Lennis', and so he has no authority. More importantly, you forget that your precious `law of nations' isn't who's going to lead you through the mountain passes, and keep you from wandering them forever -- that would be me.

"You speak to me of your authority from Kray, but you call him a fool. You dare invoke `my Elder', who you have so dishonored. I am your elder, and I tell you to hold your tongue! If you insist upon this ducal status, your missteps will mean not dishonor for Bishop, but for your country! Berronar's Beard, do you plan to lead our peoples to war?!

OOS: What's the deal with Amn and Athkatla, anyway? Athkatla's a city, right? The duke started out as the Duke of Athkatla -- I thought that was a part of Amn. Is the duke the duke of all of Amn? Is there a kingdom over him, or what?

more OOS: You, on the other hand, aren't in any prophecy.
Barik says this even before Linnam's monologue, by the way, and it hits him like a blow.
Yup, I had talked with Rebecca (the aforementioned wife) about Linnam's relative uselessness before your post. Guess we were on the same wavelength, before Linnam got all high-falutin'. :)
posted by Scholeologist at 2/02/2004 11:20:00 AM

"Hmf. Your uselessness matters little to me. You hold your fool tongue long enough for us to get on our way, and I'll make you useful, or as useful as you can be, at least.

And as for the goblins, these foolhardy, arrogant notions of `they're only goblins' or `they're only orcs' are killing off humans at a rapid clip, moreso than the orcs and goblins themselves. It's why Kray was caught unawares, and why Johannas, Jerimiah, and Jack Strongapple fell to their death. I've no wish to slur the dead, but Bishop commanded them to fire arrows, and they all charged in, no doubt thinking they had nothing to fear from a few goblins on wolves and a `mere' hobgoblin.

"Enough of this. I think we understand each other, at least well enough to avoid problems getting on the road. Let's gather what equipment might do us some good."

Barik doesn't even consider the rations unless Linnam mentions them, at which point Barik will say "I think we have rations enough to travel without pause from here to the cemetery, and beyond. As for the trip back, if we are successful, we can travel at a more leisurely pace, and even on a bad hunting day I can find food and water enough for four people in these mountains. If we are not successful, I don't think provisions for the trip back will be our primary concern."

What Barik does look for (assuming that no one else piped up during dinner, and that Drusilla's satisfied with one of the J's bedrolls) are: possible materials for horse barding for Emerelda, though he doubts there'll be anything of use; sacks, a sledge ("Who knows, it might come in handy clearing the path for the horses or something"), waterskins, itty-bitty scroll cases, a hammer (the knocking pitons in kind, not the weapon kind -- using the butt end of an axe is a drag), a signal whistle ("Can't depend on that horn -- we might want to raise a cry without being engulfed in fog one of these days"), and maybe a belt pouch or two. What with all the muscle-flexing, Barik doesn't plan to actually carry much of this stuff, but he wants it around.

Oh, and a little badger-sized saddle. And a badger-sized cowboy hat. :)

At the bar, Barik joins in the toast: "To fellowship, and let me share a traditional dwarven ditty about fellowship:

Tonight we drink and laugh and sing,
A merry, raucous band,
And I would be glad, were you all with me,
When my death is at hand.

I swear to remember this gang of ours,
For all the rest of my time,
And I would that you would remember me,
And that this last line would rhyme.

"A bit lighthearted, I know, but that doesn't detract from the sentiment." Barik drains his mug, slams it on the table, and pretends he's not looking at Linnam.
posted by Scholeologist at 2/02/2004 07:47:00 AM

He also wants to get this pony barding issue straightened out sometime.
Assuming this came up in conversation at dinner (or later at the Tap), Barik suggests "You might want to go to Merchantman's Way first thing next morning, and look for the building with the sign of an awl and threadneedle. They do most of the leather and cloth armoring and outfitting, and they might be able to put something together in a hurry."

Miscellaneous shopping: no one wants your silly hemp rope around here.
Just so it's clear, even though he doesn't much care for hemp rope, Barik recommends keeping it rather than selling it for 1gp. Might be able to use it to hobble the horses or something.

...but we're not restocked-plus-one.
Is this a typo? If you mean "but we're now restocked-plus-one", I understand, but if not, I'm lost.

During dinner, Barik is very pleased to hear about so many rations. (How long does a barrel of water last?) "Truly, we are well provisioned. If we use the foodstores we have, rather than living off the land, with luck we can make it to our destination swiftly indeed. I am sure we all agree that time is working against us."

Now, back to our regularly scheduled rant:
"You. You don't say a word to another dwarf while we're here. You don't do anything unless I do it first, and you do everything I do. You think you f*cked up? You don't have the slightest idea how bad you f*cked up." Once he picks up momentum, Barik's face reddens, and he's trembling with rage. "But we'll get to that in a minute. First, I'm going to give you a piece of my mind, Mister Nameless. Where do you get off, coming into my home, hearing about the legions of orcs coming down upon us, and then you say `give us a cleric, we need a magic weapon, we're going to do this and that and need holy water and...' Who do you think you are? You pretend you work for Bishop, and then you say what he's asked for isn't enough?!"

(Barik has been steaming all through dinner, and has been getting himself riled up about everything Linnam said or did -- whether he's justified is for you to judge.)

"`You have our thanks and the thanks of the Duchy.' Are you the Duke, to say such things? And bad enough you pretend to be something you're not, you bring Bishop into your deception, pretending he's some lord? Or has he been disguising himself all this time also? If so, he does a hell of a better job of it than you.

"Let me give you a bit of advice: I don't know how things usually go in your line of work, but I'm pretty sure if you're interested in gathering information or blending in or do whatever it is you do, saying the first ill-conceived notion that pops in your head, with no concern for your host, is maybe not the best choice. Even while you brought up your paranoid notion of Agar's message being forged, you realized that we would have to assume it was legitimate in any case -- so why did you bring it up in the first place, if not to insult my commander?

"And did it completely escape your notice that Bishop was trying to bail you out? Apologizing for his `aide'? You're either an idiot or a genius of diplomatic nuance, since you then managed to demean Bishop, Kinvol, our quest, my home, and the alliance of our peoples, in one feeble gesture. Bishop managed to drink a couple of toasts properly, so I know this isn't some infirmity of your people.

"Bishop apologized for you, Alonzo apologized for you -- and to be honest, I don't know why anyone bothered.

Barik calms down a little bit, having vented his spleen.

"Now, let me fill you in on how badly this could have gone. In general, such unspeakable behavior from an underling would have dishonored a liege, in this case Bishop, so much that the only reasonable thing he could do would be to humbly apologize for his inability to cultivate the couth of his man. He would then offer you into Kinvol's service, in order that Kinvol could demonstrate how to encourage discipline.

"Now, although your liege claims that your rudeness is due to poor instruction, the suspicion would be that the aide is dishonoring the host (in this case, Kinvol) in the way that the liege wishes, in a way the liege can deny. Thus, the host would gladly accept you as a servant for a temporary period, and assume you were spying for the liege, and make your life as miserable as he could. The whole goal would be to return you to Bishop as dispirited as possible, and with no information to report except that the erstwhile host is a sadistic demon given dwarven form.

"That's ignoring the troubles this would bring on me, who let you in in the first place, and on the quest, which would probably be quashed as some sort of weird distracting gambit of you and/or your liege, who are obviously hostile. There'd also be more hassles for Bishop.

"Now you're lucky, because Kinvol is a real dwarf of quality, and doesn't get into all that political paranoia. And evidently he has the tolerance of a saint. And he really thinks this plan to send us on Agar's trail may make the difference in this war.

"But even then... I've got to go -- none of you know how to get there. Grell's got to go -- he's on his quest, and to clear the way, those cemetery creatures have to be put to rest. Drusilla's the only mage available to match against Taur'egk. Alonzo's a true warrior, and Bishop's a fine bowman. You, on the other hand, aren't in any prophecy. If Kinvol were any other member of the Council, he'd probably figure the sane thing is to lock you in irons and send the rest of us on our way. Actually, if he were any other member of the Council, he'd put us all in irons and screw the mission, just on principle.

"You pull anything like what you just did in front of anyone else, and we'll all be f*cked, Kinvol included. So, here's the rules, if you value any of the reasons this bizarre little party is going on this fell venture, or even if you just value not knowing what a really pi$$ed off dwarf will do, and don't forget I've got your and Bishop's work on Barrs as inspiration. Don't say anything to another dwarf, other than answering questions with a polite `yes', `no', or `I don't know.' I suspect you'll be using that last one a lot. Don't do anything unless I do it first. And by Moradin, if I drink a toast, you drink that toast, and you drink the whole mug down!"

posted by Scholeologist at 2/01/2004 11:53:00 PM

...Linnam always does the Bruce Wayne thing...
Everyone thinks Bruce Wayne is a lush -- he doesn't drink, but he looks like he's drinking. Maybe Dru's doing the Bruce Wayne thing... :)

I'm waiting for people's responses, so we know what to look for in the supply room. I may have a little to say after that. Then, after dinner, I propose meeting at the Tap later on. "But Linnam and I have to attend to the supply situation first -- shall we, Linnam?" And then, when we have a private moment, I have some things to say to him. Rant next post...
posted by Scholeologist at 2/01/2004 12:36:00 PM